C-

I cannot love you as my ego would like
Cannot wrap arms over soft shoulders.
It is too chastened, too humbled
For such ordinary risks.
For the honest illusion of separation between us two.
Yes, and our separate and many duties to attend to.
Your children, studies, and clients
Shivering in borrowed clothes alongside the river.
Me, marking time, building my capacity,
Attending to the order of celebration,
Equipping myself for a life, full and glorious,
Offering sheltered shade to bluebirds.
Pushing the floor against my shoulders,
30 or 40 times a day,
To avoid rock bottom.

Contemplating beaches and volcanos,
The isthmus’ between our lives.
The Venn diagrams offered in conference rooms
Offered in foolish explanation of personal avocations, vocations,
Defining for disquieting minds
The simple letting be of what will be.